LEMs in the Vineyard

New Commissioned Lay Ecclesial Ministers

Tonight, January 18, 2012, at St. Rose of Lima Church, Freehold – 7:30 PM - Bishop O’Connell will Commission six ILEM Candidates as Lay Ecclesial Ministers. They have completed three years of Spiritual, Intellectual, Human and Pastoral formation through the Institute for Lay Ecclesial Ministry (ILEM) and have each earned an MA in Theology. Please keep these dedicated women in your prayers as they formalize their commitment to serve God and God’s people faithfully and humbly:

Teresa Ann Galvin Anderson

St. Paul Church, Princeton

 

Catherine Calandriello Collins

 Church of St. Justin the Martyr, Toms River

 

Karen Leah Craven

Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony, Hamilton

 

Carmelle C. Durand

St. Gabriel Church, Marlboro / St. Joseph Church, Keyport

 

Kyle Nelson Galante

St. Catharine Church, Holmdel

 

Michelle Robbins

Church of St. Rose, Belmar 

Your Servant is Listening

Today's first reading - a story from the first book of Samuel - is a great introduction to a series of reflections that ILEMs and CLEMs have written about their call to formation and about the benefit formation brings to the minister and to the Diocese.

Do you remember the story? Young Samuel is apprenticed to old Eli. Samuel is awoken three times by a voice calling his name. After the second call, Eli realizes that it's God who is calling the youth. He tells Samuel: "Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.'" This is what the young man said at the third call.

The end of the story is important: "Samuel grew up, and the Lord was with him, not permitting any word of his to be without effect."

The homily I heard today put the story of Samuel into ministerial perspective. Samuel was called to listen, to respond and then to act. In terms of Lay Ecclesial Ministers, we are called to listen, respond - be formed - and to act... so that our words and our very lives will be effective and the Kingdom of God may be advanced!

What follows is the first installment in the Formation Series.

I feel that with the knowledge we received from our ILEM journey we can be a big asset to the diocese. We are well-equipped to share Christ without workmates and in the ministry we offer. Personally, I couldn't list all the ways ILEM formation helped me grow as a person, as a woman, and in my personal walk with Christ. The retreats and workshops really helped me in my spiritual life. The importance of silence and the opportunity to meet with a spiritual director really  helped me to grow. The school work was hard for me but well worth it!

 

- reflection by Kate Honan (CLEM 2006)

 

A New Beginning

Each January since 2002, a new group of eager ILEM candidates have gathered to begin their journey down the road of formation. This year eight women and two men met at the Chancery in Lawerenceville to hear Sister Rita Woehlcke SSJ speak about the nature of formation, to explore the results of their recent discovery of personality traits in light of the life of Jesus and the gospel stories, and to begin to form community with each other. When asked to share about what they will remember about their first day as a cohort, they mentioned "the need to notice the differences in all of us and the qualities in Jesus which are all very close to us" and "the realization that God has called (us) to become who (we) are meant to be." They said they left the day with "a good understanding of where we are, what to expect, and what is important."

Some quotes from individual 2012-start candidates:

Marge Halloran: Today was very helpful in setting the stage for what is to come. I am very excited about the process and today added to my comfort.

Tony Rosa: As we delved into the nature of Jesus and his humanity...I realized that I can be more Christlike if I want to be. I can't allow myself to think I can't be more like Him because He was so much like me.

Hope Blanch: The Beginning Experience was a warm way to welcome the group. I felt it was a great overview of what we can expect and look forward to, with the expectation of how much we will grow in the formation.

Nelida Agosto: (It is important) to be myself always and to see more often the human characteristics of Jesus - especially when bad times come. He is our Model.

Mary Esther Wyman: I feel more confident that what I am now beginning is indeed a calling from my Creator. Jesus will walk with me. I am not afraid anymore.

Gene Del Carmen summed it all up in two words: Truly enlightening!

 

 

Mary's Invitation

I often find myself pondering in wonderment our Blessed Mother and that incredible night in Bethlehem. I think of God choosing her to be the first tabernacle of our Lord - how her womb cradled him while her blood ran through his veins. He must have looked like her - he had her DNA.

I think about Joseph and how special he must have been - especially on that night in the stable - and how he more than likely delivered the baby Jesus himself. There was not much time to search for a midwife and, besides,  who did they know? Joseph was probably the first to hold him and wrap him in swaddling clothes.

Did you know … in the Middle East, people who traveled long distances often encountered challenges. In the unlikely event of a death, the travelers wrapped a thin, gauzelike cloth around their waist many times. If someone died on the journey, the others would use this cloth, referred to as "swaddling clothes" to wrap the corpse before burying them.

What a significant sign for us: Jesus wrapped in clothes that represent death and placed in a manger that represents food. He was to die for us and to to become for us in the Eucharist. What must Mary have thought? Did she ponder all these signs?

I think that in that stable when the Shepherds and Kings came to see the baby Jesus, Mary held her baby out to them and asked, “Would you like to hold him?” Can you image how they felt holding the Son of God? I believe she holds him out to us spiritually today asking us to hold him in our hearts and in that encounter he transforms us.

 

- by Dawn Rusinko (CLEM 2010)

"And a Little Child Shall Lead Them..."

(From Ginny - "Ten years ago, I wrote this note to a Canadian friend who checked in with me the day after 9/11/01.")

Since my godson Colin wants to be an astronaut, in late August his mom and I took him to the planetarium. Afterwards I thought that Colin would like to be on the highest point in the city, so we headed to the World Trade Center. There we met so many nice employees. While waiting in line, Iyala, a petite, young Hispanic woman teased Colin so sweetly. As we ate ice cream, Joe, who was sweeping the floor, commented to Colin that he was lucky to be there with such pretty ladies. Another rather hip looking guy, gave Colin a high five as we went up the escalator to the outer observation deck. At one point we spoke at length with a young woman, really a teenager, who was locking the gate on the helipad.

Today I keep wondering about all of them. We spent the next couple of hours between the two levels of the observation deck. It was so idyllic, as we sat enjoying the balmy breeze and the late afternoon sun with the Statue of Liberty shinning in the harbor below. Meanwhile, Colin spent the time looking out from each corner of the deck. It seemed as if he was trying to memorize it all. Little did I know!

When we returned to the plaza, a band was playing Salsa music. I grabbed Colin's hand and we started dancing. Soon others were dancing. I was happy to know that perhaps the sight of the two of us dancing inspired others. Next we joined his mom at the fountain commemorating the 1993 bombing. It was a black circular disk with a globe representing the world on top. The water flowed out from the center of the disk to the edges falling into a thin pool around the base. Many children were trying to stop the water from flowing over the edge.

Looking around at the parents and grandparents resting on the stone benches around the fountain, I was so struck by our commonality. Whatever our race, ethnicity, creed, nationality or age, we had all brought our children to the WTC and were allowing them the freedom to play together under our loving eyes. It truly was a perfect summer day. I was grateful and at peace. I felt such a sense of goodness - I thanked God for His presence in the world as I sat there that day.

At the end of the day, a seemingly endless stream of people poured out of the towers. It reminded me of a moment earlier in the day at the planetarium. There is a walk that shows you exactly where everything is in relation to the universe - ten to the tenth power. All the zeros were starting to short me out. When I got to the one that says "this is you", I put in words what I thought they were telling me: "In essence, we are a speck within a speck, within a speck, within a speck, within a speck, within a speck!"

Now as I gazed around, I realized there was a different way to read this. With great joy in my heart, I turned to Jean and Colin and said " We may all be specks in the universe, but the amazing grace is that God knows each one of us by name and loves each of us as if we were the only one!'

 

- by Ginny Blasi (CLEM 2010)

About Her Call

Four years ago, encouraged by friends, I reached out to learn more about a program called ILEM. While I was raised in the Catholic faith, this program sounded like something that could help me grow in my faith. I knew neither how right nor how wrong I was.

That initial phone call made to ILEM Administration resulted in a delay.  Wait a year, serve in your parish, and don’t call us, we’ll call you next spring.  A year later I anxiously awaited that call that never came. Finally, after much urging from the same friends, I reached out again.  It turns out I had been called (umm… literally). My husband answered the phone nearly two months prior while I was at work and I never got the message.  Was I still interested in applying? The deadline was a week away.

The whirlwind application process was the beginning of a three-year program that took me through aggressive study and hectic schedules. Yet through those three years I found an amazing sense of internal peace.  I discovered a strength within myself that came from letting go of my anxieties and allowing God space to enter my life. 

The personal relationship I had with God deepened and became the rich foundation upon which to serve others.  Through service to others the gifts of God blossomed. Difficult tasks came into focus and a new calmness prevailed. Conversations about God and the Catholic Church happened naturally in the religious ed classroom, in the faculty room at the public school where I teach, in restaurants with family and friends and in the grocery store. I hunger to grow even more and am grateful to the support of laity and clergy who provide me the resources and direction to hear God at work in my life. 

 

- by Michelle Robbins (ILEM 2009)

Reflections in the Dark

Working in the Emergency Room as I do, death and dying surround me constantly. I've learned there are many kinds of death, many more ways to die than the average person could think of, and I have probably experienced everyone of them. This line of work does not bear understanding by some, but I choose it as my life’s work.

The ER in which I work in serves as the regional trauma center, as the regional mental health crisis center and now as a premier neuroscience center. I would venture to say that I see more than my fair share of death and dying. The trauma center brings any kind of trauma that could befall a human being - auto accidents, falls, assaults, industrial accidents, domestic violence, and gang violence and more. I have come to  know that the human body and the human spirit can sometimes survive just about anything. I have seen paramedics, doctors, and nurses struggle to make survival happen and when they fail, it always seems to come as a shock -"This one just couldn’t be saved." I speak with the family as gently as I can to ascertain their loved one's name, date of birth and insurance. These are questions that no family should be answering at a time like this. Their grief surrounds me as well, no matter how hard I try to distance myself. I have no answers for them, only questions.

The acute, strong emotional experiences of trauma feel like bursts of pain in the middle of the other “dying” that goes on in an ER. The outbursts of fresh grief make daily dying seem inconsequential.

My “everyday” work is filled with “chronic dying”, a dying that seems to go on forever as it, most times, does for years and years. Sometimes this dying ends with the suddenness of trauma, but that comes as a relief. The pain of this dying has already been experienced to the fullest, not only by the person, but their family and friends.

This kind of dying also comes in many forms, through mental illness, alcohol and drug addiction, poverty and homelessness. I see countless affected people come through the ER doors and those, like me, who have worked here for a long time see how these afflictions cause patients and their families untold misery. The slow wasting of mind and body is as difficult to watch as any trauma.

“My” hospital lies within the city limits. The effects of poverty make this ER different from the suburban hospitals, as the staff cares for each patient’s immediate needs, but are unable to help them when they cannot afford the medicine the doctor has just prescribed, or give them a home with heat, or food to eat. The staff cannot go home with the infant whose mother has no idea how to care for him, so he will be coming back to the ER again when his illness becomes life threatening.

The regional mental health crisis center brings to the ER any one suffering from mental illness, chronic or acute, including alcohol and drug addiction. Most of these patients return time and time again. Inevitably, a relationship evolves with them and their families. When they come into the ER I witness firsthand the effect of their suffering, through their inconsolable crying and rantings and suicide attempts to their inability to care for themselves and the resultant decline in their health.

I see their families suffering and their withdrawal of support through the years as they must also learn to survive the disease. The ER becomes the only place for the afflicted to go. Mental health illnesses and addictions know no boundaries. Color, class, and culture show no strength against this disease, and it often leads to poverty and homelessness when the person can no longer hold a job, care for themselves and have alienated all of their support systems.

Recently, Tony came into the ER seeking shelter, food and company. An intelligent and funny woman, Tony lives on the streets. She can be charming and endearing, demanding and abusive. I have known Tony for 35 years and when I have time to sit with her, I find her “in the know”, always up on current events and the Hollywood scene. That day she looked bad. Living on the streets for so long, she was weather worn, malnourished and her ever strong spirit seemed to be fading. Sometimes she will be the one bright spot in my day, with her wit and charm; other times she will be the bane of my existence as she pesters me and challenges me as I do my work.

When the winter comes, I wonder which one of “my” homeless will make it through the season. The bitterness of winter and the unrelenting heat of summer can be very hard on those living outside. My hearts aches for the “newly” homeless, those who have recently found themselves on the streets and have not yet developed the coping skills to manage that harsh life.

The daily turmoil of “acute” death and “chronic” death in my life sometimes leaves me confused. So many patients struggle to live, and so many seem hell-bent on their own destruction. I stand by and watch, but I cannot remain unaffected. These dyings take a toll on all those immersed in the everyday life of an ER. Everyone on staff can suffer from vicarious trauma and most are totally unaware of their own need for consolation.

My life in the ER, after my experience with ILEM, has changed dramatically. I see patients and my co-workers differently. I see them in all of their brokenness, and through the eyes of my brokenness. I see how truly beautiful they are as the face of Christ. Has my deepened spirituality made this easier?  Yes!  Believe me, I do not glide through every shift on winged feet, throwing flowers and sunshine in everyone’s path. But I do remind myself of my responsibility to care for all of God’s children, and that has changed what my eyes see and what my heart knows. I have also learned how to take care of myself as I go about my life’s work and ministry. I am also a child of God.

Would it come as a surprise to you to know that in my parish I serve as a leader of the Lazarus Ministry and the Bereavement Ministry? I did not choose to surround myself with ministries of consolation. God chose that for me a long time ago and I have just discovered his plan. What a relief!

As I walked out of the ER the other night, I saw Tony again, crossing our parking lot and singing at the top of her lungs, an old Marvin Gay song, “What’s Goin’ On?” and I am reminded again what my heart knows.

 

- by Susan Commini (CLEM 2008)

All Saints, All Souls - Woven Together

Sometimes All Saints day and All Souls day can be brushed aside in the Dayton bustle of costumes and candy. This year with the recent newspaper article on more suicides, I’ve been thinking a lot about souls and those who have passed. I’ve been thinking of the lost sons and the fathomless grief so unspeakable it leaves you numb. Six kids in three years from our high school chose to take their lives. The pain we feel for these families is raw. The first boy in particular is one our family speaks of often. Losing him was, I guess, the greatest shock because he was the first.

His story was the one my daughter wrote about in her college essay. Tim’s story changed my daughter. She never met him but speaks of him as if he was her friend.  In a way he is - it is because of this boy that she began to pray. After he died, her thoughts often went to him. For two years he would periodically pop into our conversations. Two years after he died she had a moment. She was on a train, and very upset as the train hit every bump. It was then she made a decision. She prayed for Tim, for his mother and for his family. Her faith journey became her own at the instant she decided to pray for someone she had never met. It changed her. A year later those changes gave her the strength to call my husband and me on our son’s dangerous evening out. She saved her brother, and in a way a round-about way, what she learned from Tim saved my son.

Two years after my daughter’s life changing commitment to her faith, I have finally met Tim’s mother. I knew her just a bit from the hours spent on the sideline watching soccer, but enough to chat and hear of how she journeys in this life after such a horrible tragedy.  I have felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to offer to paint Tim’s portrait. I’m very careful with such an offer, sometimes the families aren’t ready, or it's too forward of an offer. So I wait, and I pray for the right opportunity. The other day she made a  comment about how working on the book she is writing gives her energy and purpose but makes her miss him deeply. I knew it was the right time. I sent her a note and offered. She immediately accepted and told me that God knows when she is slipping downward and needs a reminder that He’s there.

Maybe if my daughter hadn’t been so moved by Tim’s story the painting wouldn’t have entered my mind. But I don’t think any of the story is a coincidence; my daughter's journey, my son's near-miss, meeting Tim’s mom, the painting. I think Tim is very aware of his mother’s grief. We are all woven together in communion. The boys and their families, all of us are one in Christ.

 

- by Melissa Dayton (2010 ILEM - and artist)

The Gift of a Pray-er

I recently took the Eucharist to a home-bound parishioner, to whom I have been ministering for over a year.  She’s a lovely 90 year-young lady who treasures my twice-monthly pastoral visits.  After she received the Eucharist and spent a few moments in silent prayer, I concluded (as I always do) with a spontaneous prayer for her specific intentions.  When I finished, she said to me, “I think you missed your calling!”  After considering her statement for a minute, I replied, “I’m meant to be right here with you, praying for your needs.” 

When I entered the ILEM program, I had a directional plan for my ministry.  God graciously revealed to me that my plan was not His plan and in fact His plan was better than I could have imagined!  One of the gifts I have developed is that of pray-er.  I love to open myself to the Holy Spirit and pray aloud for the needs of others.  Through those prayers, I verbalize what often has been hidden or unacknowledged in peoples’ hearts.  I give words to thoughts and feelings and raise awareness of different ways to converse with God.

 

- by Beth Simpson (CLEM 2010)

 

 

   

A Lay Ecclesial Minister Reflects on Her Calling

It is hard for me to believe that it has been 10 years since my ILEM journey began.  I applied in mid-2001 and was accepted a few months later.  I will never forget that day in January 2002 when I attended the first Spiritual Formation Day at the Pastoral Center, with the other men and women who would be part of that first ILEM class.  We were strangers, but shared a common bond, a desire to serve the Body of Christ.  A few days later, I attended my first class at Georgian Court.  I had earned an MA from Glassboro State College in 1974, but it was scary to be in the classroom again.  The other 4 ILEM folks in class and I bonded immediately.  What language were these people talking – Chicago Manual Footnotes, APA Footnotes – don’t you just put a number at the end of a sentence, and a citation in the footer?  Where’s the card catalogue, and what do you mean "use an electronic database"?  The younger kids in the class called us the 5 moms.  It was a wonderful experience all in all.  Sister Judy taught us well about the beauty of the Hebrew Scriptures. We learned and we grew, and we bonded as friends.  More classes followed and I became more confident and familiar with learning in the age of the internet and electronic databases (nothing though really replaces a good old-fashioned book in print).

To back-track a bit, I remember when I first felt the stirrings to work for the Church.  It began at the Dominican Retreat House in Elkins Park, PA.  I thought then, "I’m comfortable here. I believe I could work in a place like this and help people in their spiritual journey.  But how?  What do I do?"  One day I saw the advertisement in the Monitor for the newly-formed Institute for Lay Ecclesial Ministry, and I found my answer.

In December 2004, those of us who began the journey as strangers were commissioned as friends.  During the 3 years of formation we shared classes together, shared stories of our journey during spiritual formation days, and we shared the privilege to be commissioned by Bishop John M. Smith - commissioned  to serve God through serving the people of the Diocese of Trenton.

Today I don’t work in a retreat house.  I serve in a parish and I am a Spiritual Director.  I help people mourning the loss of a loved one by planning funeral liturgies. I help young couples in love prepare for the sacrament of marriage. And I listen to the elderly living in a nursing home.  All of this was made possible by the gift of ILEM, where I was formed theologically, spiritually, and in pastoral skills.

 

- by Joan Bartolomei (CLEM 2004)